My Cupid

I never went crazy over Valentine’s Day. Sure, it has some historical significance, but it’s basically a Hallmark holiday. I don’t want to do something just because a marketing executive tricked me into it. Yet, I have a diamond engagement ring, a red velvet Christmas stocking with my name monogrammed in glitter glue, and I’ll be pretty damn grumpy if I don’t get chocolate in one form or another this coming Monday.

See, I do agree with taking a day to make a big deal out of things. Yes, you should love and honor your mom every day of your life. But she does deserve one day a year where she is guaranteed brunch and some thoughtful words. I love my birthday and think everyone should take advantage of  a 24 hour period in which no one is allowed to be mean to them, plus a pass to eat all their favorite foods in one meal. I know that New Year’s Eve is just another day on the calendar. But you’ll never hear me complain about an excuse to drink champagne!

One (of several) bottle(s) used to toast our engagement

So Valentine’s Day, to me, is a holiday worth celebrating, if you want to. I never felt depressed if I was single, though, because it gives single people even more excuses to ‘celebrate’. For couples, you have a reason to have a nice dinner, a nice bottle of wine, some nice chocolates- and a responsibility to NOT be smug or act too happy in front of ‘poor, lonely’ singles. If you want to celebrate, you pay for your happiness in over priced restaurant specials and jacked up heart shaped candy packages. It’s only fair.

If you’re single, personally, I think the world is your oyster on February 14^th. You can go to a bar alone and not worry about people staring- they’ll feel obligated to pity you and be discrete in their glances. You might think you hate pity. But do you know what pity equals in a bar? That’s right- FREE DRINKS!! From the bartender, the manager, the other patrons. Men will line up to buy you a drink and bemoan your single status with you. You’ve just been handed a free pass to get wasted and say inappropriate things. Your boss will feel as awkward for reprimanding a single girl’s post Valentine’s Day hangover as he does when you need to leave early due to ‘lady troubles’. Huzzah for gender stereotypes that work in our favor.

On the house, of course!

As someone who is always trying to repress her propensity for excess, I kind of envy you girls who can justify that whole bottle (or two) of Moet and entire tray of Fererro Rocher to yourself. Because ladies and gentleman, I’M the one you should really feel sorry for. Because- Valentine’s Day is also Michael’s birthday.

That’s right. Affianced,  I’ve lost my opportunity to swill pity champagne and trade sexless marriage jokes with the bartender. And what do I get in exchange? Nada! Worse- a raincheck. For three years now, Michael has promised me a ‘make-up date’ for Valentine’s Day. Do you know how many makeup V-Day dates we’ve been on? ZERO. It never comes to fruition. I spend my Valentine’s Day buying him dinner, or cooking whatever he requests, or waiting outside a movie theatre in the cold because the cinematography of the movie he chose is making me nauseous. Poooor me! Boohoooo. { ;) }

All joking aside, I’m happy to give him his special day- after all, I’m the one who believes in birthdays. But last year, looking at everyone’s facebook ‘what a sweet spouse/partner’ postings, I let it get to me- momentarily! Just momentarily, okay?- and got a little bummed. Enough for Michael to notice and run to the corner of Flushing and Broadway, where he purchased a teddy bear-in-cellophane from a folding table and a box of chocolate from Duane Reade.  His being born on Valentine’s Day was not a coincidence- he is my little cupid.

This year, he surprised me- early! He has already made plans to take me out for drinks at Top of the Strand. Nothing says love like $18 cocktails and million dollar views. Seriously, I love this shit. Once in awhile I just really love to (1) see Michael in something other than his beloved swishy pants, (2) gawk at the Empire State Building from a swank rooftop 4 blocks away and (3) spend a day’s pay on drinks that contain more ingredients than most of my dinners. I’m stoked. And it's our first Valentine's Day as an engaged couple. Awwww. (You know i'm going to do this for Every Single Holiday, right? Flag Day just has so much more significance with a ring on your finger!)

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovebirds out there- and happy ‘Pour me another on the house, barkeep! You’re my imaginary boyfriend tonight!’ to everyone else!