My Waterfront Clambake Summertime Super Beach-y Wedding

Michael and I have decided that if we get married in New Jersey, we’d like it to be in Asbury Park. We have several options we’re considering. I wrote recently about letting wedding stress get to me. At one point a couple weeks ago, I came across this idea, and spent the day putting together a great, laidback, casual-but-fun back up wedding plan. May I present…

The Beach Bar in Asbury Park

A couple years ago during Asbury Park’s revitalization, The Beach Bar opened on the deck of Convention Hall. This previously under utilized space was just begging for a bar like this- you absolutely cannot beat this location. You enter through Convention Hall or you can walk up the steps directly from the sand. The bar itself is indoors and has a row of seating there, but the draw, of course, is sitting directly above the sand and soaking in the million dollar ocean views.

And, the Beach Bar does weddings! You rent out the wings and choose a liquor package, then bring in a caterer. Rather than formal seating, you can utilize their fun lounge furniture for a great waterfront cocktail party vibe.

Really relaxed

Once you eliminate the standard ‘chicken or fish?’ seated dinner, you can get pretty creative with the food. With the lounge setting, a never-ending cocktail party would be a great option- a couple stations and passed hors d’oeuvres all night, with lots of great seafood options. My favorite idea was a clambake- I found a number of local caterers, including some very helpful people at Shore Catering and Lawrence Caterers, who do great lobster clambakes that can also be combined with BBQ packages for the ultimate beach party menu- think steamed clams, shrimp cocktail shooters and crab claws, burgers and barbeque chicken and whole steamed lobsters with drawn butter. Relaxed, fun and delicious.

And how easy would it be to decorate? This wedding demands a beach theme, and there are a lot of reasons beach themes are so popular- they’re fun, pretty and easy. Since the tables would vary in size and style, you wouldn’t need to coordinate large matching centerpieces. Just spread some shells and tea lights on the tables, and let the natural beauty of the ocean take center stage. The lights strung across the ceiling provide a romantic minimalism as well as light.

A cute sandcastle cake would fit perfectly.

Downsides- well, the inconsistency of weather. Temperatures at the beach are notoriously fickle- I would need to remind everyone to check the forecast for the shore and dress accordingly. Also, it’s an open air venue- if a storm rolled in, as my future mother-in-law quickly pointed out, rain + wind = wet guests. We saw this first hand last month!

 

Last, I’m still struggling with how ‘formal’ I want my wedding to be. I loooove the thought of this relaxed vibe; wearing a cute tea length dress, running down the steps barefoot directly onto the sand, slow dancing with my new husband while the waves crashed right in front of us. But there’s still a part of me that feels this is my only chance to ‘own’ a big old ballroom for the night and have a huge dance floor for getting down to Lady Gaga in a multi-thousand dollar dress. See, this is a side of me I’ve always struggled with- never wanting to miss an opportunity or my ‘only chance’. And I have to admit, I am getting a little caught up in the wedding world undertow- lately I feel the pull of BRIDE so strongly!

The Crystal Ballroom at the Berkeley Hotel

I always look for meaning or a connection in my venues- well, if you know me, you know I love the beach, and if you knew my mom, you know she really loved the beach. Our families love Asbury, and Michael and I both love the summertime.

So I have filed this under Plan B. Today, on this rainy, gray day, I’m going to comfort myself with visions of Michael and I, with rings on our fingers and our toes in the sand.

Venue Shopping- The Vineyard Edition

Wineries are popular spots for weddings. You’ve got the booze angle, beautiful flowering grounds, and a romantic, relaxed vibe. Now, New Jersey and New York City aren’t exactly known as wine regions- NYC is more famous for breweries and distilleries if anything, although NY State does have the Finger Lakes and parts of Long Island. And you may be surprised to learn that NJ actually has over 40 wineries.

I investigated three different venues, which I’ll share here:

Laurita Winery is in the western-most part of Monmouth County. The vineyard is lovely, and the space itself is striking- there’s a dining area, a cool bar and a loft for cocktails. The patio is also available in nice weather. They’re exclusive with one caterer, who has a variety of options. They serve their own wines exclusively, but also can bring in all other liquors.

Downsides- a little pricey; yet another location with a ‘no-shots’ policy (neither Mike and I are big shot takers, nor are the majority of my guests, but I hate the idea of being told ‘no’ to something like this when I’m shelling out tens of thousands of dollars!); and being out in ‘the country’, the hotels are limited and all a good 15+ minutes away. Not a big deal, but I’d prefer to give people closer options. (For us, too!)

Brooklyn Winery- yup, you read that right. They are the first winemaking center in Brooklyn. This place is very new and very cool. There are several options for renting, from one small room to the entire facility. Currently they do not have a hard liquor license, so you would buy one of their wine packages and bring in your own liquor- although by the time our wedding rolls around, that may have changed. You’d also bring in your own caterer- being a new place, they’re pretty flexible. The event coordinator is really sweet and I think I would love working with her.

Of course this place, being NYC, is a little expensive (for us) for what it is- the wine package, extra alcohol, and catering adds up quickly; but the space is so cool you wouldn’t need a ton of decorations. And it’s right in our own (sort of) neighborhood, Williamsburg. I love that.

Silver Decoy Winery, in Mercer county and less than 45 minutes form our hometowns, is a little smaller and doesn’t have a reception hall. Weddings are held under rented tents on the beautiful grounds. I believe they are open to several caterers- I found them through Falco’s Caterers, who also work with the Berkeley Hotel and many others.

I have to admit, this one has been on my mind for months- I just adore the picture with the luminaria walkway, and I loooove the idea of stringing paper lanterns across the ceiling, and decorating simply with vases of lavender. It looks so sweet and laidback and romantic. From the beginning I was hesitant to consider outdoor venues, because I didn’t want to spend the week before the wedding obsessively checking Weather.com. But when I imagine a rainstorm happening during our wedding, it doesn’t even faze me. Michael and I both love the rain (as long as we aren’t commuting in it!) and I think it could be kind of cool. Not my ideal situation, sure, but not a dealbreaker worst-case-scenario, at least.

So, this is definitely one of my ‘back up’ venues- if right now I’m investigating another location that I haven’t shared on the blog yet, and while I’m really excited about it, pulling it off would require a lot of work. So this is my ‘in case I lose my shit and realize I have no DIY skills, nor patience to deal with 10 different vendors’ Plan B.

Aren't the wineries so pretty? I'm hoping to head out for a tasting this spring. I promise to report back- after the buzz has worn off.

Booze

Here’s something important to both of us at our wedding- the drinks. We’re not lushes (shut up! I’m NOT!) but we definitely like to drink when we celebrate- as does the bulk of our friends and family and, oh yeah, the rest of the world.

Several of the venues we’re investigating would require us to provide our own bar. We’d be hiring bartenders and renting glassware and equipment, but we’d be responsible for bringing our own liquor- and I’m actually excited about that! I love trying new cocktails, wines, and beers. Over the last few years, NYC has seen an abundance of old fashioned cocktails come back on to the scene, as well some amazing artisanal cocktails. I love Trophy Bar, Cornelius, Death & Co, and so many other places for their amazing drinks.

Despite its reputation as an extraneous wedding detail, I love the idea of serving signature drinks at our wedding bar. I’d love to highlight a few of our favorites, but I’ll also serve all the standards. So the signature cocktails would be a way to share a part of our lives at our wedding. Michael has a very Brooklyn-centric favorite drink, and I’d love to feature some of my favorite cocktails from around the neighborhood as well.

What I’m trying to figure out, is how many other drinks should I be prepared to serve??

I’ll surely have the standards- all different types of liquor with accompanying sodas, tonics, juices and liqueurs to make ‘standards’- rum&coke, vodka cranberry, martinis, etc.

Even if we don’t end up stocking our own bar, many venues require you to choose a liquor package- generally, a low-budget, no-name brand ‘House’ option, a premium, or Ultra premium. Which leaves you wondering… is Absolut ‘good enough’ for my guests? Do I need to spend the extra $1500 (or up to $3000 in many cases) so that they can opt for Grey Goose? Oy.

For self-catering, many liquor stores will allow you to return unopened bottles if you’re buying in bulk and arrange it with them ahead of time, so I’m not too concerned with overspending. BUT I also don’t want to end up with 20 different liqueurs and bitters that were opened to make a single drink, so I can’t go to town and buy absolutely EVERYTHING. The easy solution is to just have the standards, but this actually is an important detail to me- I want my guests to have lots of options, and to drink things that they like, and that are of a good quality.

I don't think these will be on the menu

I’ve found several resources for stocking a bar online so I know what the minimum I need is, and god knows I’ve done enough independent research ;), but for the hell of it, I’d love it if you would weigh in!

[Keep in mind this will be spring/summer- not the dead of summer, but definitely warm weather.]

● What’s your favorite drink?

● What’s your favorite drink at weddings or parties?

● What have you noticed as being very popular at large events?

● Any random favorite you’d like to give a shout out to? (For instance, I know my cousin loves Stoli Raspberry, and my brother’s been on a Southern Comfort kick.)

● I’m hesitant to have blender drinks because I think they might be too loud- would you be sad if you couldn’t have a frozen daiquiri or margarita?

● Do you think some ‘custom made’ drinks like sangria and/or rum punch would be popular?

● Beer or wine preferences? How large of a selection do you think there should be?

● Would you be likely to try a local beer or wine if it was on offer, or a new cocktail if you liked the ingredients, or would you be more likely to stick with your favorites?

● Non-alcoholic options- on a warm evening, is there anything you’d like to see offered besides soda, water and juice? Sparkling water, lemonade, etc?

● What do you think of ‘beer and wine only’ receptions? (Not our preference but one venue we looked at did have this restriction)

● What do you think of ‘dry’ receptions?

● What do you think of cash bars?

● What do you think of the bar closing for an hour during dinner?

(Neither of the three above are options we are really considering, but they’re hot topics over at the Offbeat Bride Tribe, so I’m just curious what my friends and blog readers think.)

● What do you think is necessary as far as the quality of drinks? Would you be okay with the ‘middle’ range, that includes brands like Absolut, Bacardi, and Jim Beam, or do you think top shelf should be made available to your guests?

If you just want to answer one or two questions, or just tell me what you like to drink, any feedback would be great! I know everyone will have different opinions, and I’d love to hear any and all. (All I ask is that you try to stay positive and be nice, please!) Thanks and happy drinking!

The Coolest Wedding I’ll Never Have

On Friday, Mike and I stopped by our local bodega for beer and on a whim, I bought a lottery ticket for Mega Millions, which was up to $300+ million that night. On the block and a half walk back, I wondered aloud where we should get married if won.

Here’s a couple of ideas…

I probably wouldn’t go nuts and do the ‘June at the Plaza’ route or the New York Public Library ($40,000 just to rent that place, without food or drink!) or anything like that if our wedding budget suddenly increased. What I would consider is something decidedly more modest- two Brooklyn venues that actually aren’t that far off from our budget. In fact, if we were willing to cut back the guest list a little, we could probably pull these places off.

First one: Galapagos in Dumbo. This place used to be in Williamsburg (their old building is now Public Assembly) then they renovated their current location and moved in 2008. They have multimedia artists in residence, rotating exhibits, performances and events (like the Busker's Ball, at which talented street musicians perform a concert, and Nerd Night, which is speed dating for geeks/smart people), and most famously, Saturday evening’s Floating Cabaret- in which  the cabaret is performed floating above the 1600 square foot indoor lake.

They have pretty reasonable drink packages, with a variety of caterers you can bring in. The prices are staggered for days of the week and time of day- you can even have a more ‘casual’ wedding that concludes with the floating cabaret performance.

Next- the Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM) in Fort Greene. We see movies here a lot- it’s close to our apartment, and is only a couple blocks from the park in which Mike proposed. We love this place. They have movies as well as theatre, and shows in the Café space- which is also where you can hold your wedding. Those cool lights on the outside of the building? It’s right inside, next to them!

Pics pics

You can hang out here on Friday and Saturday nights for happy hour before the performances start at 9:00. BAM’s mission is to be the preeminent progressive performing and cinema arts center of the 21^st Century and most people agree they’re on their way- BAM Cinematek is regularly lauded, as are the performances. Alan Rickman and Geoffrey Rush both performed there this year. It’s one of our all time favorite places in Brooklyn. They are exclusive with one caterer. And god bless both both of these venues; they spell out their wedding packages right on their websites. I know other brides planning weddings will relate to what a rarity and blessing this is!

In the end, we’re not comfortable cutting the guest list, nor spending even a few thousand more than the absolute ceiling we set for ourselves, so these places will exist only in my dreams. Well, actually even better- in my every day life! That’s a perk of living in NYC. One person’s dream is another person’s happy hour- and sometimes, they’re the same person.

A New Direction – New York, NY

For the past 5 months, we’ve been looking exclusively at New Jersey venues- at least that’s what I’ve been telling you. When we got engaged, we figured we’d get married in Jersey since that’s where the bulk of our family is. Some of our friends are there too, and a lot of the people who would be travelling from other states have roots in NJ. Our instincts were to make it easier for everyone else, and also, we hoped, to save some money.

But over the last few months, we’ve realized several things- first, NJ aint exactly cheap itself. It’s not like we’re leaving New York City to hold the wedding in rural Arkansas. Also, the frequent trips back really drove home the fact that Brooklyn is our home now. After meeting with some fellow brides in January, I felt a little jealous that they were planning weddings in their own neighborhoods, getting to show distant friends and family their new homes. Some people have destination weddings, asking guests to travel thousands of miles to show them a place they love. We were doing the opposite and going to our guests. Is that a little backwards… ?

Anyway, the strongest emotion was a desire to get married in the place that means something to us- like the place we really consider our home. New York is where we first lived together as a couple. It’s where we got engaged. It’s where we first said ‘I love you’. Michael swears it wasn’t until he mentioned that he lived in Brooklyn that I became interested in him. And Brooklyn is where we plan to stay for the long haul. It makes sense to get married here.

Now, nothing’s official yet- and it has to become official soon, as most places start getting booked up at least a year in advance. Prime dates in May and June go the fastest, so we really need to pick a place and secure a date within the next month or so, tops. Luckily, I’ve been investigating NYC venues for awhile now. I’ve already been able to eliminate quite a few, based mainly on pricing- yeah, I said NJ isn’t cheap, but as everyone and their brother knows, NYC is really expensive. So here are a couple places I would’ve LOVED to have the wedding, if our budget was a little larger.

First: Stage 6 at Steiner Studios in the Brooklyn Navy Yards. Steiner Studios is one of the largest movie studios outside of California, and the Stage 6 building has amazing views of Manhattan. The venue is enclosed in glass and can be lit and decorated in so many ways. Abigail Kirsch is the exclusive caterer. Abigail Kirsch is a fantastic and pricey caterer who works in tons of the best NYC venues. I learned early on that if I see that name attached exclusively to something, I might as well cross it off the list immediately.

I liked the idea of this because the Navy Yards are so close to us- there’s a great Italian spot called Il Porto we like about a block away. Also, Michael works in the industry, to a degree, so there’s that connection. However, he didn’t warm up to the idea like I did, saying, “Why would I want to get married somewhere I might work one day?” Luckily, the expense made this a non-issue.

Smack Mellon in DUMBO, Brooklyn is a converted boiler building that now houses a fantastic non-profit arts organization that houses and curates exhibitions as well as offers studio space and educational programs. Nestled between the two bridges in DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass), it’s another ‘raw’ space to which you pay a site fee and bring in your own caterer, rentals, etc.

My initial instincts were for art galleries or museums. And Smack Mellon does great things for the community. Their fee is certainly fair but, when combined with catering, still out of our range.

The Foundry in Long Island City, Queens, was in fact a steel foundry built in the 19th Century. It was restored about a decade ago and is absolutely beautiful. Fred Armisen and Elizabeth Moss got married there last year. You can have the wedding inside or out on the grounds, or do a combination. Some services are available from the owners but you do need to bring in your own caterer and rentals. The main space has a vaulted ceiling, exposed beams, two levels and lots of little alcoves.

All along, in any state, I’ve looked for a ‘connection’. Really, this place doesn’t have a big one for us, other than being the exact ambience we’re looking for as well as having a strong New York history. But it’s in Queens, and it’s not exactly cheap. Connections aside, it’s the cost that eliminated this for us. So unless an extra $15,000 drops into our laps, we’ll have to move on. But GOD it is gorgeous!

In the next couple of weeks I’ll be reporting back on several venues that are actual contenders (and probably a few more that we were priced out of but just want to share!) before we make our final decision. Again, I’m not saying that we’re definitely getting married in Brooklyn or that we’re even leaning towards it, just that it officially On The Table!